When the unsuspecting driver depresses the gas pedal, saying this car moves fast would be as much of an understatement as saying that a freight train hitting your Schwinn might dent it a little bit. Drop the clutch, and the big bang happens all over again as your intestinal track forcefully relocates to the lumbar support area of the M5’s plush two-tone leather seat. This particular M5 was given a lobotomy by the BMW performance masters DINAN, and when they were done, 402-hp with 375 lb/ft of yank is accessible with a flick of the ankle.

While other car magazines get to drive the new M5, your college student editor opted to drive the previous model but with some ridiculous DINAN modifications. I could have snagged the new one, but I turned it down Check out the price for this baby too, what a deal!

When the unsuspecting driver depresses the gas pedal, saying this car moves fast would be as much of an understatement as saying that a freight train hitting your Schwinn might dent it a little bit. Drop the clutch, and the big bang happens all over again as your intestinal track forcefully relocates to the lumbar support area of the M5’s plush two-tone leather seat. This particular M5 was given a lobotomy by the BMW performance masters DINAN, and when they were done, 402-hp with 375 lb/ft of yank is accessible with a flick of the ankle.

The stock 2000 M5 (E39 model for those who keep track) tops out at 394-hp at 6500 rpm, and is highly regarded as one of the top performance sedans ever made — if not the quintessential performance sedan. So when you have one of the most powerful saloons ever crafted on this planet, what’s the point of keeping it stock?

DINAN Modifications

DINAN’s S-M5 modification kit adds their Stage 2 Engine Software, a carbon fiber high-flow cold air intake, a new aluminum DINAN-badged quad-pipe exhaust, and some other external accessory goodies that make your car visibly more expensive. These modifications add up to only 8 extra horsepower, but when you start out at 394 horse, it’s tough to move it up a lot. The owner of this car didn’t feel like pimping DINAN so he opted not to have the decklid badge affixed to the back. When you have enough big-faced bills to buy an M5 and then add some more stuff to it, you definitely don’t need to flaunt your money any more.

The Drive

The car makes noise like no other car I’ve ever heard — just starting the engine might scare some hearing-impaired people down the street. It’s a cross between a deep bass guitar being tortured and a few bowling balls spinning around in a dryer (I’m a college student, so yes, I know what that sounds like). When I first hopped in the car with my buddy Tom, we sat there for a little bit just taking in the scenery. Unbeknownst to some car shoppers walking by who stopped to take a look at this Bavarian nastiness, we were in the car, keys in hand, about to turn the ignition. I press down on the competition clutch and fire it up, and oh my god you should have seen the couple outside the car jump. They had no idea anyone was in the car (tinted windows and all) and I’m sure the vroooom sound was a lot scarier when standing outside the car as opposed on the inside.

I haven’t driven a lot of high-performance cars (this was my first 300+ hp one) so I’m probably not well-driven enough to discuss the performance advantages over comparable cars in this range, but when I say that I did more than chirp the tires when I shifted into 3rd gear, you can realize how much power is on tap. Top speed on the test drive? 85mph. Possible top speed according to the computerized limiter? Fooled ya! DINAN took the limiter away!

Right after I jumped out of this car, I jumped into a new 330i sedan with the performance package (extra ten horsies, some additional fun stuff), and to be honest I liked the 330i better. Because it’s a smaller car with much less weight, you definitely feel more connected to it than with the massive M5. The 330i handled like a sprite little gokart compared with the four-door super behemoth, but I obviously expected it to. The M5 is all about ludicrous amounts of effortless power, so if you’re into “that kinda thing” then there’s really nothing like it. Well, except the newer M5

Thanks to John Holtz BMW of Rochester, NY for letting me drive $80k worth of cars for no real reason. You guys rock!