Finally a commercial that tells the truth!

That was my initial reaction to seeing one of the new Hummer ads that lets people know its product will help them compensate for being inadequate. The first one I saw shows a woman with her child in a playground waiting in line for the slide. Another woman walks up, pushes the first women’s child aside so her kid can go on the slide. What does our first woman do? Does she stand up for her child, either aggressively or with understanding? No, she shows the world what any true coward would do: she goes and buys a big vehicle to “empower” herself. Anyone with any common sense will see that she is still the same coward who can’t stand up for her kid as soon as she steps out of her three-ton monstrosity, but hey, Hummer isn’t looking to sell its SUVs with common sense.

Finally a commercial that tells the truth!

That was my initial reaction to seeing one of the new Hummer ads that lets people know its product will help them compensate for being inadequate. The first one I saw shows a woman with her child in a playground waiting in line for the slide. Another woman walks up, pushes the first women’s child aside so her kid can go on the slide. What does our first woman do? Does she stand up for her child, either aggressively or with understanding? No, she shows the world what any true coward would do: she goes and buys a big vehicle to “empower” herself. Anyone with any common sense will see that she is still the same coward who can’t stand up for her kid as soon as she steps out of her three-ton monstrosity, but hey, Hummer isn’t looking to sell its SUVs with common sense.

The second commercial starts with a skinny pale man buying groceries. The checker is scanning his giant tub of tofu when a manly man steps up behind him in line and throws a pile of meat on the checkout counter behind him. It then flashes to skinny pale guy buying a Hummer and ends with the tag line, “regain your manhood”. Again, I’m not really sure how buying a Hummer fixed his problem. Maybe skinny pale man uses it to run down deer in the woods for food instead of buying tofu.

While most companies talk about the quality or performance of their products, Hummer is selling image: people will think you are powerful if you drive its SUV. The problem is you aren’t in your Hummer 24-hours a day. If people walked all over you at work before you drove a Hummer, people will walk all over you now that you do drive a Hummer. The difference is now they will also make fun of you for trying to compensate for your lack of backbone by buying such a crappy SUV. Do people really think that they will get instant respect in a Hummer? If they don’t, what next? Drive over a few cars in the parking lot to show people how empowered they are? Again, that’s not respect. That’s cowardice.

These commercials confirm to everyone what most of us knew already: People buy Hummers because they feel insecure. So if you need to compensate for being a bad parent, lack of athletic ability, or just general inadequacy, a Hummer is exactly what you need.