Automobiles de Luxe has a hilarious post on descriptors for the new Mercedes-Benz GL-Class. Gunnar Heinrich, who writes the blog, found adjectives such as “Big & Bold” and “Serve & Protect” in the description of the SUV. After nearly snorting out (hot) coffee from barely surpressed laughter, I added my two cents: “Gas-guzzling & Pretentious”.

Seriously, I was a bit taken aback by the words. I agree with Heinrich: what asinine corporate suit directed marketing to come up with the Basic Marketing 101 ad? Yes, the GL is big and, yes, it is sophisticated. But the latter refers to its technology which, to be bluntly honest, Americans really don’t care about. (Ask BMW about iDrive.) And big? Many SUV buyers and drivers are women and associate the word with weight which is currently a big No-No.

Maybe I’m being a bit sensitive and letting my latent import-basher peek out today. But “strong, silent” type? I don’t own a MB SUV but my neighbor owns an ML and I can tell you from personal experience that “silent” it is not. Also, the words convey an image of a rough and tumble loner or drifter with a five o’clock shadow: the GL looks more at home at the golf green.

Enough rant for today. My “lean & predatory” Honda Accord needs a wash and a scrub down before its nap.